When I re-started Quran, in my late teens, my Quranic reachers are mostly elders, male and have been very kind, patient and gentle with me.
My first hifz teacher then came, a fresh graduate of Madinah University. I didn't have confidence that I can enrol but i did.
I was always volunteering my time there and so the Ustaz was like my big brother. But he was very strict and fierce with me when its hifz time. I began to dislike it and eventually i hated it. Because fear is not a motivating factor me in learning.
I got married and me and hifz school parted ways. Later the school was no more. And after giving birth to two sons, i relearn my hifz from other schools. As i learn more from other hifz teachers, i realised that my first teacher had brought me to a certain level of proficiency that wherever i go, i continuously excel in grade A.
Later, i learnt that in Mecca and Medina, the teachers are very strict to their students as compared to us in Singapore. I began to understand that my first hifz teacher meant well. He was passing on the best what he has learnt. I should not have thought bad about him.
Without me realising, i became one of the fiercest hifz teachers for my sons. I made them cry (i remember crying to go hifz school too) I then stopped myself and changed. But i noticed the level of excellence i learnt was passed onto others.
Although i dont fancy fear as a motivating factor in learning, i noticed i learn fast in such situations (my driving instructors were similar, it felt as though i paid him a lot to scold me but i passed in first attempt).
My biggest takeaway as a teacher is to balance it out. Some students excel in fear motivations but some dont. And remembering my student days, i emphatize with them. I rather love them then create punishments.
Perhaps, i should have informed my teacher when he was too strict and fierce to and for me. Because learning is a two way street.
Hope that helps shine some light to your own life stories.